The Joy of Anticipation

Looking forward to something brings such analloyed happiness to your soul. You can live your whole life in anticipation of something in the future.

You wait for things to happen, for dreams to come true; and you go on dreaming about the elusive goal. Dreams about sometthing that you will get in the future - these dreams can make your life. Such a simple thing like thinking of getting out of the office early can bring excitement in your heart. The very anticipation of being able to be home early can make you doubly productive.

The joy of waiting for the family outing to happen can brighten weeks of dull routine. The anticipation of getting new furniture can make for glorious weeks, even months. Planning, calculating, dreaming, hoping - it can occupy you for hours on end.

But what happens when you actually reach the summit? When you actually get something that you have been so desperately waiting for? You realise there is no more looking forward to. Your dreams have become realities, and you realise that they will now become realities of the past. And now you must look for something else to look forward to.

Don't worry. As long as there is life, there will be more hopes, more dreams, more aspirations. You will be able to experience the joys of anticipation again and again. I agree that  "when Gods want to punish us, they answer our prayers" (-Oscar Wilde). Of course, some prayers need to be answered. But others are best left unanswered.

Life as it is

सुंदर, शांत रात्रीची वेळ. जेवण झाले आहे, घरातली काम आटोपलित. बाहेर छान गुलाबी थंडी पडली आहे. हातात गरम coffee चा कप आहे. अंगा भवति मस्त उबदार rug आहे. गच्चीत bean bag वर coffee पीत एक अति-interesting पुस्तक वाचत आहे.
अश्यातच हाक येते: "आई ये ना पटकन. माझे हात धू."
Welcome to motherhood.

Stream of consciousness on a Work Afternoon

-I don't want to work.
-I want to read my book.
-Why won't anyone call me?
-Should I blog?
-I'll open my email.
-Why doesn't anyone write to me?
-I don't want to work.
-What's Nanu upto?
-I want to sleep.
-When will the weekend come?
-I want to buy new shoes.
-I don't want to work.
-When will the ink in this pen be over?
-Look how red my phone is!
-I have exhausted all news sites.
-I don't want to work.
-Let me open a doc.
-My eyes are closing.
-I don't want to work.
-Why won't anyone come online?
-I don't want to work.
-I don't want to work.

The Week That Was

It's been a nice, uncomplicated week so far. Touch wood. I was apprehensive about this week as it came after a wagon-load of holidays. My son had got used to not going to daycare, & I was anxious about that. I had got used to lazy, work-free days, & I was anxious about that. Daily routine seemed a challenge to get into.

But my son got used to daycare, and I got used to work. He did it. I did it. We did it. And it's Friday again. Thank God.

Eternal Questions of the Empty Mind

1. Will Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth live happily ever after?

2. Is Cinderella happy with her Prince?

3. Will Alice be able to get into her Wonderland again?

4. Will Heathcliff and Cathy be able to live happily ever after as ghosts?

5. Would Romeo and Juliet still have maintained their position in the list of most popular lovers had they ended up being married?

चल ग सई ...कुठ ग बाई? नदीच्या काठावर...गाईच्या गोठ्यात...भुर्क वासरू टुकू टुकू बघतय...तिथे ग बाई चल...


माझ्या लहानपणची कविता. परवाच माझ्या मुलासाठी "बोलकी बालभारती" ही कैसेट लवली होती. त्या वेळी ही कविता ऐकली आणि मन विशन्न झाले.
 
मी स्वतः ह्या कवितांवर आणि गाण्यांवर वाढले. तेवा "गाईचा गोठा" म्हणजे काय, हा प्रष्न कधीच नाही पडला. भुर्क वासरू हे शब्द ऐकल्यावर तो गोंडस आणि निरागस चेहरा लगेच डोळ्या समोर यायचा. तो स्वप्नातला नदीचा काठ कित्येक कणटालवाण्या क्षणांना रसभरीत करून जायचा. त्या शब्दांनी रेखाटलेल्या चित्रांनी त्या कवितांना मानत कायम एक घर दिले आहे.
 
पण आज अस  चित्र कुठल्या मुलाच्या डोळ्या समोर उभे राहिल? तो दिवस दूर नाही जेव्हा माझा मुलगा माला विचारेल - "आई, गोठा म्हणजे काय ग? वासरू कस असत?" The realities of one generation have become the curiosities of the next.
 
माझा मुलगा कोणत्या कवितांवर मोठा होइल? तो कशा प्रकारचे स्वप्न जगेल? आणि ते स्वप्न मला समजू शकेल?
 
त्या कविता ऐकून जाणीव झाली ती कधी न परत येणारया कालाची. अवती-भवति होत असलेल्या प्रचंड बदलाची. संपूर्ण जीवनपध्दती  बदलून जगणारया  माझ्या generation ची.

Am I blessed or cursed to be a part of this generation?

Remains to be Seen

I have a sister who blogs, blogs, blogs all the way. I have a friend who - well - blogs. I have a father who wants to learn about blogging. What about me? Where's the writer in me disappeared?

Gone are the days of writing poetry in German. Forgotten are the days of English poems, short stories, essays, critiques, articles. Different days are here. Days of employment and daily struggle. Days of wifehood and motherhood. Days of extreme activities and little enthusiasm.

I have taken up the pen today to pen down my thoughts. I hope this is a new beginning, not just a pause. I have inspirations enough. But can I shake off the laziness? Can I hoard off the cynicism? Can I start feeling the novelty again?

Remains to be seen.